I have not seen ‘The Meg’. Something tells me the narrative of a giant prehistoric shark causing mayhem and destruction didn’t require too much background. Then again, I could be wrong. Perhaps the 2018 blockbuster had the foundational mythos that would have turned ‘Meg 2 The Trench’ into a must-see epic, rather than a middling megalodon mess.

You’d never believe a movie like this could be dull. Yet, ‘Meg 2 The Trench’ manages to turn a journey to the deepest depths of the ocean into tepid tedium. All the wonders lying in the deep are certainly eye-popping, but far too sparing. ‘Meg 2 The Trench’ spends most of its time with bland characters spouting cliche dialogue and passing off undercooked science sounding jargon as profound fact.

Characters don’t take steps that make any kind of sense. Their decisions are without logic, and can’t even skate by as matters of the heart. ‘Meg 2 The Trench’ has characters that are meant to be brilliant but come off as oafish. They’re established as close enough to be family, yet the untimely demise of their crew is followed by one liners and cheesy humour.

If not for the film’s last act of destruction, ‘Meg 2 The Trench’ would be a complete wash. Its cartoon villains make for ample opportunities for action with bite. The film has some of the best 3D I’ve seen in years and makes a theme park spectacle out of its giant monster mash. When the film gets past its shallow setup and paper-thin character development, it is admittedly, a fun time. To paint a picture, the film’s most tense moment involves a dog self-paddling for dear life.

‘Meg 2 The Trench’ could have been a fantastic thrill ride. Instead, it takes so long to get started and doesn’t give you the goods until you’ve already lost interest. Its climactic roller coaster is too little too late, and all the big screen action in the world can’t save this.

Rating: Catch It On Cable

Note: While I appreciate you reading this review, movies are still incredibly subjective. If you think you might enjoy yourself, I encourage everyone to support the cinema industry as much as they can. Stay safe, and remember, life’s too short for bad movies.