Monthly Archives: May 2016

X-Men Apocalypse (2016) Review: Uncannily Boring X-Men has never been my favourite superhero franchise. As action movies, they've had a few stand out moments here and there, and as superhero movies, there haven't really been characters to follow besides Wolverine who kind of ran his course. That is of course until they went the prequel route. What is typically the kiss of death for a franchise, 'X-Men: First Class' breathed new life into the X-Men. Watching Professor X and Magneto become life long frenemies was interesting and there was a bona fide anti-heroine story worth a damn in Mystique. That in mind, I went into 'X-Men: Apocalypse' optimistic, despite not expecting anything fantastic.  So was it fantastic? Well not really. In fact, 'X-Men: Apocalypse' is kind of boring. Set ten years after the events of 'Days of Future Past', the movie gives us a world in which mutants are now known to the public, Xavier's school is fully up and running, and Magneto is on the run from the law after dropping a football stadium outside the white house. That'll ruffle some feathers. As the status quo is set, the film also introduces the world's first, all powerful mutant, Apocalypse. After being asleep for 3,000 years, he wakes up to a world where mutants are oppressed and vows to destroy it to craft a new one in his image. To say he's got a God complex is a slight understatement.There are a few…

Mother's Day (2016) Review: Sorry, Moms. I can't fault a movie like 'Mother's Day' for existing. It's a two hour greeting card put to film that stuffs all the faces that mothers like seeing. Julia Roberts. Jennifer Aniston. All it's missing is a Sally Field or a Sandra Bullock and it would literally have everyone's mom's favourite actress. So why wouldn't you make it? It makes perfect sense. What doesn't make sense is that it would be this bad.Okay that's a lie. That makes sense. The reason that makes sense is that it's from director Garry Marshall, who's last two movies were 'Valentine's Day' and 'New Year's Eve'. Films that follow the same basic concept of 'Mother's Day'. Take a holiday, think of as many different situations you can think of that sort of apply to that holiday, and smush em all together 'Love Actually' style. The difference being that while 'Love Actually' organically wove its multiple story-lines into a compelling narrative with engaging dialogue, these films just kinda don't.Truly, the first act of the film seems to be ongoing, as if I've not yet left the theatre. I still feel like I'm being introduced to more and more characters, with so many story lines that you start to get the equivalent of cinematic whiplash. The different conflicts by themselves might make for their own mediocre, yet sweet films about a certain type of family dynamic. The problem is there's so little time devoted to each one that as they're being set up, you can see the resolution…