‘Justice League’ Is Not What You Want, But It’s Okay. (2017) Review

'Justice League' Is Not What You Want, But It's Okay' (2017) Review There’s not a soul alive who didn’t grow up in some shape or form with the Justice League. Though the characters are American inventions, they’re regarded the world over as iconic. Therefore despite all evidence to the contrary, I couldn’t help but have a twinge of excitement over the movie. Sure, ‘Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” was a cinematic travesty, but ‘Wonder Woman’ was a breath of fresh air.So where then does that leave ‘Justice League’? Well, sadly more towards the former. While the film never quite reaches the lows of its 2016 predecessor, it does have some elements that serve as chilling reminders of how bad these films can be. The first act of the film is an incoherent mess. Batman, coming off of his win in his title fight with Superman, is traveling the world to assemble a team of super friends to face off against an incoming invasion.You have Cyborg, The Flash, Aquaman, Wonder Woman and Batman, all facing off against the evil Steppenwolf. An intergalactic conqueror with a vengeance, and rotten dialogue. Perhaps Justice League is a film best seen on mute, as too often I would be hit with the urge to smack one of the characters for saying the absolute cheesiest lines. Where Justice League fails is in its rushed execution, as it feels as though the first hour is a collection of…

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‘Murder On The Orient Express’ (2017) Review

'Murder On The Orient Express' Is A Classic Reborn. (2017) Review For the second time in nearly 50 years, the Agatha Christie novel ‘Murder On The Orient Express’ has been adapted to film. The story follows the incomparable detective Hercule Poirot, and his impossibly huge moustache. Hercule finds himself aboard The Orient Express, a magnificent train packed to the brim with passengers from all over the world, travelling peacefully, until, in the dead of night, one of them meets an untimely end. Unfortunately for the killer, Hercule Poirot is probably the world’s greatest detective. (Sorry Batman).What follows is a simple whodunit, as the detective makes his rounds interrogating the various passengers. The film is directed by Kenneth Branagh, who also plays the lead detective. He’s not the only notable cast member as the movie is filled with eye popping actors. Penelope Cruz, Johnny Depp, Judi Dench, Willem Dafoe, Michelle Pfeiffer. ‘Murder On The Orient Express’ has a rather impressive ensemble, though it leaves something to be desired.No one does a bad job per se, but no one was particularly impressive either. In fact, each of these actors have had better performances this year alone in different projects. The most engaging of the lot is Branagh himself as the eccentric but brilliant detective, whose obsessive compulsive disorder makes ordinary life unbearable, but solving crimes simple. The actors give you enough of their characters to play your own personal game of clue as the…

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‘Thor Ragnarok’ Ragna-rocks! (Had To Be Done) (2017) Review

'Thor Ragnarok' Ragna-rocks! (Had To Do It) (2017) Review After being mostly absent from the silver screen for the last two years, ‘Thor Ragnarok’ sees the return of the God of Thunder. Quite unlike we’ve seen him before. The movie opens up with the Norse God covered in chains, and describing a plot to protect his homeworld of Asgard. It should be simple work, but for the Goddess of Death, Hela. What follows is a galactic trek not dissimilar to one taken by the 'Guardians of the Galaxy', as Thor assembles his team, cutely named “The Revengers”The most noteworthy member of that team is the Incredible Hulk. Yes that’s right, the movie may have Thor’s name on it, but there are more than a couple superheroes in this film. Thankfully, for everything that’s packed into ‘Thor Ragnarok’, the final product is a well-balanced ride. Whereas most action adventure movies have a concrete story and pepper in a comic relief scene or two, this movie does the opposite. It’s a laugh fest from start to finish with a few scenes put in to establish a narrative. That’s not to say ‘Thor Ragnarok’ is hurting for substance. In fact, for all it’s non stop humour, I was particularly impressed with how invested I was in the story, even if the movie at times treats it as an afterthought.As for the humour, 9 out of 10 times I would be upset. Upset that I was…

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The Saw Franchise Tortures The Audience in ‘Jigsaw’ – (2017) Review

The Saw Franchise Tortures The Audience in 'Jigsaw' (2017) Review Years ago it was a Halloween tradition for a Saw movie in the cinema. Back in 2004, the series tried to change the slasher game. It put you in the minds of the victims and gave you a moral quandary or two along the way. You didn’t revel in the violence like a night at Crytal Lake. Over the years, the series moved so far away from that original germ of an idea, it became a whole different animal. Jigsaw’s rules became idiotic but were presented as profound.Now, after all this time, Jigsaw returns in ‘Jigsaw’. The new film talks a lot about the legacy of the Jigsaw killer, the impact he left on the world after all this time. The symbolism between fans of the Saw films and fans of Jigsaw itself worked 10 years ago, but these days it feels like a fantasy land. Perhaps that’s the point since the movie is entirely populated with moments that defy what we know as reality.Everything from character interactions, physics, and even the movies brain dead psychology feel ingenuine. Typically in an idiotic horror movie, you can still enjoy yourself and ignore the more distracting fallacies. Not so here. Here if you’re distracted by the tv movie acting, you can’t exactly ignore it to focus on the nonsensical story. If a movie is the greater sum of its parts, ‘Jigsaw’ is a busted…

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